So the last couple of weeks I have been on sort of a roller coaster in life. Nothing super specific in my life, but more or less things in close friends lives that have, more or less, shocked me.
The weekend D and I first went home to OK, we were in Mannford visiting his BF and his wife. I was checking my email and noticed I had an email from my old college roomie. She was coming to visit the weekend D and I returned to Cali.
I wasn't super shocked that I had recieved and email from her...we have been exchanging frequent emails in the last few weeks anticipating her trip out here. But this was no ordinary email. She started off the email by telling me that she had something important to tell me and she didn't exactly know how to say it...I am not a fan of emails starting like that. She goes on to say that she got a divorce from her husband almost a year ago and she had been living with another guy.
My jaw dropped and I just didn't know what to say. She begged me not to judge her and that the only reason she was just now telling me is that we just fell out of touch for a few months. I was just at a total loss for words...it came out of left field for me and D. When we lived together our sophomore and junior years of college and lived next door to each other our senior years, she had the most amazing BF, the guy she ended up marrying.
They seemed so perfecct for each other. He treated her like a queen. But it turns out the time after they graduated, things just went down hill. They moved into an apt together in Dallas and got their careers started and began to live the adult life. She told me when she came that no one did anything wrong, no one cheated, no one lied. He asked her to marry her about a year after graduation and they married the following fall. She told me she had doubts the whole time and just knew he wasn't the one. She told her mother, who told the rest of the family, and she was quickly bombarded by email from relatives saying it was just cold feet and this was normal.
So the wedding went on, but she never felt right about the whole thing. They ended up in marriage counseling, but she realized her heart just wasn't in it. In her email she told me that she had been seeing and living with another guy for almost a year...they moved in together just after she filed for divorce. She said she had never felt like this with her ex-husband. She felt complete with him and he made her happy in ways that she never was before.
It was just so much to think about and process that I was a little put off for a minute. I just always thought she had it all together...shows what you really know I guess, huh??
Revelation #2...
This one is still very shocking to D and I both. We recieved a message on FB last night from one of his very good friends. He started the email again with my favorite phrase..."I don't know how to say this, but..."
He went on to say that he came out to his mother 8 months ago. ::SHOCK:: A giant bombshell just dropped right then and there. He is probably one of the most guy guy's that we know. He loves football, beer, and is about as right wing as one can get. He told us in the email that he had been struggling with this feeling his whole life and he felt like he had been lying to us for years.
I called D since he is out of town and we began to say just how udderly shocked we were...still are. D and this guy have been friends probably since the 3rd grade or so. So they gre up together and are really good friends. After I got off the phone with D, I texted our friend to let him know that I still loved him no matter what. He said that it meant so much to him to get it off his chest and to have us know now.
We talked for a while and I told him that as long as he was happy D and I didn't care at all. He said he got all teary eyed and just kept saying how much it meant to him to have us on his side and to "be cool with it". I honestly could careless what his orientation is. he even said in his message that he was probbaly the "straightest gay guy we know"....and I know he is.
D and I were talking about how maybe we should have seen the signs, but you turn a blind eye when it is a good friend. He is not the stereotypical gay guy at all...he never really had a girlfriend, was always really shy and quiet. He told me that he felt like coming out was a black man declaring he was black. It really made me think about it in a different way. He said, that it is our society that makes such big deal about it. He siad his sexuality is such a small part of his life, that is shouldn't matter either way. He is the same guy he was the day before he told us and he will remain the same guy tomorrow, and the same guy 6 months from now.
I guess the whole point of this, is to just hope that my 2 friends are happy in their new lives. One, I hope she is happy with the new love of her life. Two, I hope he is finally happy and is able to live his life out in the open and without living a lie. I hope my friends know that I love them regardless of their choices and lifestyles....
The weekend D and I first went home to OK, we were in Mannford visiting his BF and his wife. I was checking my email and noticed I had an email from my old college roomie. She was coming to visit the weekend D and I returned to Cali.
I wasn't super shocked that I had recieved and email from her...we have been exchanging frequent emails in the last few weeks anticipating her trip out here. But this was no ordinary email. She started off the email by telling me that she had something important to tell me and she didn't exactly know how to say it...I am not a fan of emails starting like that. She goes on to say that she got a divorce from her husband almost a year ago and she had been living with another guy.
My jaw dropped and I just didn't know what to say. She begged me not to judge her and that the only reason she was just now telling me is that we just fell out of touch for a few months. I was just at a total loss for words...it came out of left field for me and D. When we lived together our sophomore and junior years of college and lived next door to each other our senior years, she had the most amazing BF, the guy she ended up marrying.
They seemed so perfecct for each other. He treated her like a queen. But it turns out the time after they graduated, things just went down hill. They moved into an apt together in Dallas and got their careers started and began to live the adult life. She told me when she came that no one did anything wrong, no one cheated, no one lied. He asked her to marry her about a year after graduation and they married the following fall. She told me she had doubts the whole time and just knew he wasn't the one. She told her mother, who told the rest of the family, and she was quickly bombarded by email from relatives saying it was just cold feet and this was normal.
So the wedding went on, but she never felt right about the whole thing. They ended up in marriage counseling, but she realized her heart just wasn't in it. In her email she told me that she had been seeing and living with another guy for almost a year...they moved in together just after she filed for divorce. She said she had never felt like this with her ex-husband. She felt complete with him and he made her happy in ways that she never was before.
It was just so much to think about and process that I was a little put off for a minute. I just always thought she had it all together...shows what you really know I guess, huh??
Revelation #2...
This one is still very shocking to D and I both. We recieved a message on FB last night from one of his very good friends. He started the email again with my favorite phrase..."I don't know how to say this, but..."
He went on to say that he came out to his mother 8 months ago. ::SHOCK:: A giant bombshell just dropped right then and there. He is probably one of the most guy guy's that we know. He loves football, beer, and is about as right wing as one can get. He told us in the email that he had been struggling with this feeling his whole life and he felt like he had been lying to us for years.
I called D since he is out of town and we began to say just how udderly shocked we were...still are. D and this guy have been friends probably since the 3rd grade or so. So they gre up together and are really good friends. After I got off the phone with D, I texted our friend to let him know that I still loved him no matter what. He said that it meant so much to him to get it off his chest and to have us know now.
We talked for a while and I told him that as long as he was happy D and I didn't care at all. He said he got all teary eyed and just kept saying how much it meant to him to have us on his side and to "be cool with it". I honestly could careless what his orientation is. he even said in his message that he was probbaly the "straightest gay guy we know"....and I know he is.
D and I were talking about how maybe we should have seen the signs, but you turn a blind eye when it is a good friend. He is not the stereotypical gay guy at all...he never really had a girlfriend, was always really shy and quiet. He told me that he felt like coming out was a black man declaring he was black. It really made me think about it in a different way. He said, that it is our society that makes such big deal about it. He siad his sexuality is such a small part of his life, that is shouldn't matter either way. He is the same guy he was the day before he told us and he will remain the same guy tomorrow, and the same guy 6 months from now.
I guess the whole point of this, is to just hope that my 2 friends are happy in their new lives. One, I hope she is happy with the new love of her life. Two, I hope he is finally happy and is able to live his life out in the open and without living a lie. I hope my friends know that I love them regardless of their choices and lifestyles....
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